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my resolution/revolutioni made a wager against any and all gods;
to untie the Gordian knot biting
deep into my throat
me the blade to
sever it- but holy
fuck that doesn't make
this hurt any
the toddler grew and i scooped up my guts;
your lesson today was resolution and it
will have to end on a major seventh
wakethis annoying little... speck
he sighs, flicks dust
off of his suit
as the lab technician
adjusts IV drips
for the woman
on the operating
"the lobotomy didn't work. she's still in a coma."
"...get the solution
appears nervous upon
"s-side effects: n-neural degeneration likely to cause in-d-definite psychotic
reaction, inc-cluding mania, d-delusions of grandeur, v-v-violence, anger, r-rage,
high-r-risk negative beha-"
"w-why sir? she
looks so peaceful.
it's as if she's
"she always had debilitating nightmares."
"then just p-p-pull
the drips. sh-she
won't feel a thing"
a coarse laugh like
"there is always time to die."
the solution, the
lackey sweats and
wipes his face
the suited man looks up toward the ceiling.
"she was always
alive. she told me time and
then something happened
and she lost it. i don't
know what it was. but
she lost all
guts"yes, i have
cavern," the cartographer
says; "i will do
everything in my power
to help you find the
i plead, "please
the man continues,
"you will feel the
walls smoothen as
they begin to glaze-
immaculate and unspoiled
you will sleep on the
bedrock, each night more
comforting as the terra
cotta turns soft, wet
japan, the woman in the black dressjapan, my dear, you were so beautiful
even after the craving trapped me
on an island buried in radiation and gloom by
a hiroshima cloud
i tracked the kitsuné down to the pier
and in fearful deception it became the
sensual woman in the black dress, who
was the delusion bound to my mind by
obsession, love, and lust
it kept me here in this terrible place
as the cloud lifted and dissipated into the ocean breeze
i could see- the advantage was finally mine
i clutched it at the throat and squeezed,
it's amatory front remained until
the moment it died, and
meanwhile i watched the expression
roll off of its face
my eyes became dry in tense anticipation
and the tips of my fingers dripped with
something more than blood
and let the
body concede to the ground
now i swim alone (i always was) from
the edge of this world to the edge of another
the water smells of salt and
feels both hot and cold
body drenched in cortisol,
peaking during the inevitable, unyielding storms
rigid with pa
bleeding mascara"i'm sorry
( doesn't do
flushing"i heard from a bird that you have feelings for me.
sorry, just don't feel the same."
belt-coil around stomach,
vagrant fingers like
crooked teeth tearing out hair scratching
skin trying to dispose of
sounds of splattering vomit,
shift keyi spent the first
day of my
"I love art." the preacher says, "anything
that invokes an emotion in me."
then he mentions
manager for god knows
what reason. sticks
on that for awhile
like a foot
caught idle in some
dried up cement.
dick like it was
his only business,
part one of the
sermon to a
some really articulate
words on suicide:
"I respect him even though he
took the coward's way out."
asleep now. i
stay awake just
long enough to listen to
him bitch some more
about people being lazy
for not using capital letters
in their emails.
[perhaps the first good thing he's
said in the past hour]
-our assignment for Wednesday is to take a happy
picture of yourself, post it, and write a few sentences
about how it shows who you are."
...so much for my
flung up my phon
the light is fleeting but it will remain purei rarely
days that i
awful way of
a dead bird rots,
stomach heat-split and picked on,
feathers stuck to the concrete
when he peels it up.
he pours kerosene,
holding one shaking match litó
fat melts, entrails crisp,
marrow dries and bones crack,
ashes rise against the wind,
falling on gray buildings.
in his midmorning dream,
the phoenix soars.
meaning of white / and the glare that obscurestoday rumbled,
churned and went to hell
.left in the bright obscurity
appendages seem to hiss no more
waves speak no more
dandelions sing no more.
i must figure out
whether to keep hanging like a deformed
in which direction to propel this vein-knot;
Winter DeepTethered to such days as stillness
Too little accomplished,
much to be done.
Welcome, dreamless sleep.
Rest for a worry weary mind.
Grey cold sunrise.
Metal against concrete.
Does the plowman notice
grateful faces in warm lamp lit windows?
© L. L. Kelly 2014
athazagoraphobiamicrobes rule the dreck
of the wreck of our impish fraternity
just a cobbled audacity
contradiction and reducing the straw man
(and who's not in favor of affectionate anarchy?)
scowls and white noise cannons
locked - and fully loaded
the hanging of an absurdistalas poor roaches
of the tongue-splitting brigade
to the scene of flames
dry humping the body to death
not only untouchable now
unafraid of the occasional laceration
maybe the lifelong reek of oppression
in the vicinity of cellars &
maybe the maggot-like sweat beads
as the drain pipe flange digs into the forehead
and wrist cuffs are about to explode./an att
presencehad a dream
you had shaved your head and
tattooed your breasts
but in the back of the train
you laughed your old good-natured laugh
i'll evaporate, leaving
your palms cold
you see one day i'll be on a train too
rushing up a merciless incline
hunching i'll be watching you
through a wall of splintered raindrops
maybe there were times when i was present,
but never this
was a shy spy,
slipped into the lingerie/
thrust into the crowd-
it's okay, they
... never listen,
howling from the opposite sides of the canyon
..."jag är inte elisabeth vogler...",
but i was pretty damn close, was
the "no" that scours the guts at
night after the party had
inflating pregnant slabs of pork...
in awe and silence.
effervescence is fashionable these days,
the words fizz up...
imported see-through fireworks,
the bubbles carry no seed.
reach heaven, tick it off the to-do list,
think of the message later. the
on giving upi have known shame once,
it is something that everyone
scraping feet across bankrupt pavement-
wall street, tall and meek, sketchy smiles, rabbit feet
many people have come to live here,
but many more die here,
understand that i was surrounded by ocean
i could've swam to maine if i wanted to
but i just stood in the sky.
felt my face, felt the fever drain
i am weak, i say
i am tired, i say
but even my own mother does not listen to me.
it would be better to say only one thing
and not mean it, than to say two different things
and mean them both. it would be better to walk and never look back at
the city behind you, than to stand there staring stupidly at it.
it would be better to forget you, than to remember
poinsettiaeveryone's heard of manifest destiny
what you can/when you can/while you can
with our small eyes eating
christmas cactus each morning
to help us keep our edge
so what monster was your father
is still that great god of gotham
his endless eyes locked
in unscrupulous patterns
through cracks in a flush, febrile sky
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